Famous Funny Quotes
Comedy has a way of helping us understand that we're all experiencing the same things in this chaotic world, whether it's a wordplay, a humorous insight on everyday occurrences, or old witty sayings. You'll find yourself thinking, So true! after reading these amusing statements about relationships, work, friendships, and family because, well, they are. You'll also recall some funny, meme-worthy TV and film moments.
Take a much-needed break from your day to check out these famous funny quotes that we found in stand-up comedy, novels, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, as well as movies and TV series, all of which are sure to make you giggle.
Take a much-needed break from your day to check out these famous funny quotes that we found in stand-up comedy, novels, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, as well as movies and TV series, all of which are sure to make you giggle.
Funny Quotes about Marriage
My advice to you is to get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. —Socrates
If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once. —Aldo Cammarota
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. —Will Ferrell
Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you. —Jay Trachman
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. —Phyllis Diller
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. —Rod Stewart
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. —Jim Carrey
Funny Quotes about Parenting
Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas. —Paula Poundstone
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. —Dave Barry
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home. —Dennis Miller
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. —Rodney Dangerfield
If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them. —Reese Witherspoon
When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.—Erma Bombeck
Kids are expensive, I didn’t even realize how broke I was until last year someone stole my identity and it ruined her life.—Kate Davis
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. —Phyllis Diller
Funny Quotes about Familie
It seems I have spent a lifetime mouthing mechanically, ‘Say thank you. Sit up straight. Use your napkin. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t lean back in your chair.’ Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along. —Erma Bombeck
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. —Jerry Seinfeld
There are two classes of travel—first class and with children.—Robert Benchley
Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.